


Maybe, baby

by cromarty



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 14:55:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18478558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cromarty/pseuds/cromarty
Summary: Patrick did not feel the way David did about babies.





	Maybe, baby

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of a coda for 507 “ A Whisper of Desire.”

Patrick did not feel the way David did about babies. He had done plenty of babysitting at family events in high school, and had spent lots of time with his cousins’ kids before he left for Schitt’s Creek. Rachel never actually said anything to him about it, but he could tell she liked that he would be a good dad someday. He liked it about himself, too. It’s one of the things about their future they had actually agreed on.

 

Once Roland Jr. came onto the scene, Patrick got confirmation of what he had assumed from David’s particular nature: David had no idea how to interact with babies. It might have come up before that due to Alexis’s “pregnancy scare” but Patrick had been to busy getting lost in kissing David to talk about it seriously.  


Now, as he stops by the store to check in after getting some errands in after his audition, he’s barely kissed David hello and accepted his congratulations before David starts squirming.

“What’s with the wiggles, David?” he asks with a mostly straight face.

“Okay the first thing you need to know is that I’m pretty sure I secured the account with Tina,” David says rapidly, breaking away from Patrick for more freedom of movement for his gestures.

 Patrick uses the opportunity to flip the sign to “closed” before prompting “What’s the second thing?” He lets his amusement color his voice. He knows it can’t be anything too bad or David would be trying harder to distract him from the subject.

“You can’t be here when she comes back next week and also we need to borrow Jocelyn’s baby!” David releases in all one breath. Smirking, Patrick just crosses his arms and settles in to lean against the counter.

“Okay, what _happened_ was Roland came by this morning with the baby _supposedly_ to pick up organic apple sauce but really he just stuck me with watching him because he had to go stop someone from getting electrocuted or possibly help someone get electrocuted? And you know how I feel about babies but then Tina came in and she assumed he was mine and she apparently loves babies, so I may have… gone along with her assumption. And she’s coming back next week, so.”

Patrick shifted his weight, grinning. “You adopted a baby to make a sale? We haven’t even talked about having kids, David, but I assumed you didn’t want them and now I find out you’re basically kidnapping them at a moment’s notice?”

 David had squirmed even more at the “we” part, but Patrick had expected that given his mostly joking reference to their future. Suddenly he realized it might not actually be about them. “Wait, why can’t I be here?”

“Roland came back! While Tina was here! To claim the baby! So I kind of let her infer....” 

“David! Tina, a possibly major long-term client, thinks that you are with _Roland_ and you have a _baby_ together? I know this was an important contract, but--”

David’s squirming had now reached a level probably better classified as “writhing” and Patrick knew he was about to burst into another flurry of explanations, so he cut him off.

“David,” he said with his most serious face. “What if, next time, she expects you to _hold_ Rolly?”

David’s bluster deflated somewhat with a heartfelt “EW!” and a shaking out of his arms to release the tension. Patrick couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of his fastidious boyfriend trying to look like a natural father while still holding the baby at arms’ length.

“Okay this was a very difficult day and I obviously worked extremely hard to make a sale…” David was protesting as Patrick pulled him into his arms to cut him off with a kiss.

“David, I love you, I will help you with the baby next time, and you can tell Tina I’m just your business partner or your manny or your side piece for all I care.” David melted into him on the next kiss, sweet and relieved and letting go of all the tension of the baby stress and wondering how Patrick would feel about the situation he’d gotten them into. 

Patrick could feel him relax and turned the kiss a little filthier. He didn’t pull back until David was panting slightly. 

 

“David,” he said in his lowest, most persuasive voice.

David only managed an “mhmm?”

“Let’s go home and _make a baby_.”

“Gross!” David reared back away from him as Patrick smirked and pulled him closer.

“Is that a no?” he murmured against David’s throat.

David sighed. “You know it’s never a no.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, I was sitting in the middle of a Catholic wedding entirely in Spanish listening to the priest go on and on about the importance of the gift of children in a marriage when Noah's best intense persuasive sex voice saying "let's make a baby" popped into my head and the rest is history.


End file.
